‘In Japanese, there is a beautiful term, wabi-sabi, which describes the special beauty of the imperfect, the incomplete, and the transient.’ Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

Did you know that a chip in your favorite tea mug or a scratch on your car can be beautiful? Or that a scuff mark on a wall can have value? How about the first grey hair or wrinkle that you notice, what do you think about these things?

In the Japanese culture all of these things are wabi-sabi: simple, imperfect, humble, intimate, beautiful. Wabi-sabi is to the Japanese what polished perfection is to us in the West. So while we may throw the chipped tea mug away or worry about every scratch and wrinkle, a Japanese person may revel in them. Signs of life, beautiful.

When we look around at the flaws, the glitches, the quirks of our life and our relationships, what do we see? Do we notice the beauty or focus on the chips and scratches – the imperfections. What if we look for the wabi-sabi?

Wabi Refering to the quirks and anomalies that happen along the way, which add uniqueness and elegance to a person or object.

Sabi Beauty or serenity that comes with age, when the life of a person or object and its impermanence are evidenced in its patina and wear, or in any visible repairs.

If you are Japanese, it is understood that you have to learn to appreciate wabi-sabi. You have to learn to find beauty in the simple and the humble. You come to accept that there is great value to be found in the chips and cracks. More than that, your chips and cracks are signs of life, beautiful. You are a diamond in the rough.

If you look around you right now, what do you see? Photographs with all sorts of memories, work, laundry, a wall that needs painting, a sofa that needs replacing, an unfinished cereal bowl or cup of tea, a book you started but haven’t finished, an email or a letter you haven’t written yet. Maybe you are running late or finished too early. Maybe your day started with a jolt or is not turning out as planned. You know what? Wabi-sabi. It’s OK.

‘Things wabi-sabi are unpretentious, they are appreciated only during direct contact and use; never locked away in a museum. Things wabi-sabi have no need for the reassurance of status, they do not blare out “I am important” or demand to be the centre of attention. Things wabi-sabi are emotionally warm, never cold’. Excerpts from an article by Leonard Koren

When we look around at the flaws, the glitches, the quirks of our life and our relationships, what do we see? Do we notice the beauty or focus on the chips and scratches – the imperfections. What if we look for the signs of life, beautiful?

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As a cathedral emerges, a fiercely protected dream comes to life in an epic adaptation of bestselling novel ‘The Pillars of the Earth’, coming to Channel 4, UK this Autumn

Cathedrals are places where stories find their meaning.  Within the walls of our cathedrals we find these stories, often ancient, often painful inscribed on the walls and floors.  Memories of knights, soldiers, wives and children. Tombs of priests, saints and kings.  Lives well lived and lives lost. So many stories under one roof, no wonder that one day these stories would be told.

Ken Follett, was the novelist who took up the challenge to write a novel that would do justice to the sacrifice and determination necessary to build a cathedral in twelfth century England.  Follett was already well established as a writer of thrillers like the best selling Eye of the Needle published in 1978. He describes what gave him the idea to write his cathedral epic;

‘The stones themselves reveal the construction history: stops and starts, damage and reconstruction, extensions in times of prosperity, and stained-glass tributes to the wealthy men who generally paid the bills. Another story is told by the way the church is sited in the town. Lincoln faces across the street to the castle, religious and military power nose to nose.’

‘The building of the medieval cathedrals is an astonishing European phenomenon. The builders had no power tools, they did not understand the mathematics of structural engineering, and they were poor: the richest of princes did not live as well as, say, a prisoner in a modern jail. Yet they put up the most beautiful buildings that have ever existed, and they built them so well that they are still here, hundreds of years later, for us to study and marvel at.’

Naturally his publishers were nervous, in a way Follett’s journey to bring his novel about required as much dedication as the cathedral builders would have mustered.  His epic novel The Pillars of the Earth was written over a span of 13 years. Follett remembers his first attempt, and the moment when he realised exactly what he had taken on;

‘Looking back, I can see that at the age of twenty-seven I was not capable of writing such a novel. I was like an apprentice watercolour painter planning a vast canvas in oils. To do justice to its subject, the book would have to be very long, cover a period of several decades and bring alive the great sweep of medieval Europe. I was writing much less ambitious books, and even so I had not yet mastered the craft.’

The Pillars of the Earth was eventually published in 1989 and has been a worldwide hit ever since, Follett describes the novel as the one people always want to talk to him about;

‘It is my most popular book. It’s also the book I’m most proud of. It recreates, quite vividly, the entire life of the village and the people who live there. You feel you know the place and the people as intimately as if you yourself were living there in the Middle Ages.’

The Pillars of the Earth is a majestic novel.  Follett throws the reader instantly into the cold, damp, difficult and bloody life of a central character, Tom Builder, as he tries to keep starvation from the door of his family.  Although penniless, Tom harbours a life-long dream to put his talent for building to work on the most ambitious project available to a man of his time; the building of a cathedral in Kingsbridge, Follett’s fictional town set in a beautiful corner of South West England.

Follett took his inspiration for his cathedral from Wells and Salisbury, explaining that in its architecture the finished Kingsbridge Cathedral is like Salisbury, with rows of narrow, pointed “lancet” windows.  As The Pillars of the Earth became an international best seller, Salisbury Cathedral noticed more and more people who had been inspired to visit by the book, from the UK but also from America, Germany and many other countries.

The same is true for the real-life ancient market town of Kingsbridge, located in South West England.   Kingsbridge Tourist Information confirms that people from all over the world come to Kingsbridge looking for its cathedral.  In real life, the history of Kingsbridge bears a striking resemblance to that of its factional counterpart.  The modern town is made up of the Mediaeval towns of Kingsbridge and Dodbrooke, originally a quarter of a mile apart. Kingsbridge and the lands around it passed into the possession of the Abbots of Buckfast Abbey some time after the Norman Conquest. The Abbot of Buckfast was granted the right to hold a market in Kingsbridge in 1219, his monks selling their produce of honey, fruit, vegetables and thick cream, and so began the tradition of Kingsbridge as a market town, which continues to this day.

As The Pillars of the Earth unfolds we are taken deeper and deeper into the reality of this twelfth century where Abbots, Bishops, Kings and Lords held sway over their people.  We are invited into the personal lives, the power struggles, the battles, the failures and successes of several families, prominent and otherwise whose destinies intertwine around the stones of Follett’s cathedral.

Follett is a master of the small detail and lays bare not simply the facts of life during these times but, more intriguingly, the motives of men’s hearts.  The story becomes a thriller of large proportion as we realize that the narrative really lies in a fight to the death between the people building the cathedral and those who want to destroy it.

So had this book captured the imagination of people around the world that filming of an eight hour television adaptation is now complete. The eight-hour series assembles a vast array of veteran executive producing talent in various guises, three-time Oscar® nominee Ridley Scott (Robin Hood, American Gangster), Tony Scott (The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3)- both Golden Globe® and Emmy® Award winners, Rola Bauer (Ring of the Nibelungs), David W. Zucker (The Good Wife),Michael Prupas (Human Trafficking), Emmy® Award-winner David Rosemont (Steven Spielberg’s Into the West, Door to Door starring William H. Macy), Tim Halkin (Lost City Raiders) and Jonas Bauer(Impact) and is produced by Emmy® nominated John Ryan (Hitler: The Rise of Evil, Life with Judy Garland: Me and My Shadows).

Rich in historical architecture, beautiful castles and churches, the series was filmed on location in Hungary and Austria.  The series will premiere in the UK on Channel 4 in the Autumn.  A time when the evenings draw in, the curtains are closed and a good historical drama can be a welcome diversion.  Well loved British actor Ian McShane, no strange to sinister roles, takes on the character of Waleran Bigod a powerful and conniving villain.  The story has a wealth of intriguing, heroic and duplicitous characters for the cast of well loved actors including Donald Sutherland, Matthew Macfadyen, Rufus Sewell and Sarah Parish to get their teeth into.

‘It was always our intention to make Pillars fresh and accessible to modern-day audiences – nothing stuffy here,’ explains Executive Producer and Chairman of Scott Free Films, Ridley Scott.

Ken Follett is also happy with the results, he recounts his reaction to filming and being told that the series had found a UK home;

‘The attention to detail was staggering.  I was thrilled because my readers expect that degree of detail from me in my writing and historically-accurate costumes, props and sets translate that detail onto the screen. ‘

‘I might be prejudiced, but finding the right network for Pillars in the UK was very important for me. Channel 4’s profile and image is a perfect fit for a story with such broad appeal. I know we are in good hands.‘

And so the story of The Pillars of the Earth draws to a close as the small village of Kingsbridge is transformed into a thriving community, now lying in the shadow and grace of its magnificent and finally complete cathedral. A fulfillment of fiercely protected dreams.

The light and the scene change one last time to show the modern world, still revolving around the single stable point of our story, a cathedral filled with light. A place where stories find their meaning.

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Why not contact Claire today?

‘Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.’ Margaret Lee Runbeck, Author, 1905-1956

Have you noticed how new words and phrases creep into our everyday language?  New words and phrases always reflect the latest ways of doing things and can even make us re-think our thinking.

If you were to think back a few years, would you have Googled something you wanted to know?  Would you have tagged your best friend on Facebook?  Would you have known what a property or a career ladder was? LOL.

Having it all is a phrase that crept in somewhere around the same time as all those property and career ladders.  Having it all became the mantra of the people I grew up with.  We were meant to be ambitious, travel, buy at least one house, have a child or two, know what to wear and when to wear it, drive the right car, keep in shape, not grow any older than about 29, cook like a gourmet and have a great love life.

Having seen how having it all has worked out for us, I have noticed this:  Nobody I know has it all, not even remotely.  Everyone has bits of their life that others may envy – a successful career, a great house, children, a good relationship, supportive friendships, health or wealth, style or charm.  And they all have parts of their lives that range from tricky to impossible – a loss of some kind, a failure of sorts, a broken relationship or an outsize mountain to climb.

Here’s a case in point.  Nicola Horlick.  Nicola is a successful career woman, she has fond memories of a childhood spent in a large house backing onto a Golf Course, a stone’s throw from a gorgeous white sandy beach.  Her father was a mover and shaker, a king maker, so their house was always filled with good conversation and intriguing people.  Nicola studied law at Oxford and by this time you are probably thinking she lived happily ever after with her perfect life.  Except she has this to say:

I don’t understand how people can say I ‘have it all’.  I had an incredibly sick child for 10 years who died of leukemia.  I don’t have Georgie, so I can’t possible have it all.’  Nicola Horlick, CEO Bramdean, Management Today December 2010

That’s a heck of a way to find out you can’t ‘have it all’.

So if we aren’t going to have it all, what do we have at all?  Maybe more compassion, more humility, more wisdom.  Less judgment and more kindness.  We may come to realize that even those we think have it made, don’t.  Maybe we can become more appreciative of the beauty to be found in the moment.  Find something we can be thankful for one day at a time.  Know when enough is enough.

Do we know what enough really means?  According to Thesaurus.com it means ’something that can fulfill a need or requirement without being abundant.

‘Would that there were an award for people who come to understand the concept of enough.  Good enough.  Successful enough.  Thin enough.  Rich enough.  Socially responsible enough…’  Gail Sheehy, respected investigative journalist and Vanity Fair contributing editor who saw her husband through a 17 year battle with cancer

So if we aren’t going to have it all, what do we have at all? We have the opportunity to re-think our thinking. Because the journey towards happiness, fulfillment or peace is not to be found in the station we arrive at, but in the manner in which we decide to travel.

When you need a world class writer – for your book, your company or your charity –

Why not contact Claire today?

]]> http://clairevorster.com/blog/the-real-secret-to-having-it-all/feed/ 0 http://clairevorster.com/blog/the-king-james-bible-opening-up-the-kingdom-of-heaven/ http://clairevorster.com/blog/the-king-james-bible-opening-up-the-kingdom-of-heaven/#comments Thu, 03 Feb 2011 19:24:06 +0000 admin http://clairevorster.com/?p=223

Why would we, 400 years on and light years ahead, celebrate the creation of the King James Bible?  Isn’t it just the Grandpa of the younger, hipper versions we enjoy today?  The answer is a resounding no.  To understand why the King James Bible is worth celebrating, it is worth knowing just what a miracle it is.  Today, I want to tell you the story of a show trial, a man who died with courage on his lips and two Kings.

400 years ago, if you were found with even a scrap of the Bible translated into English, you would likely be destined to spend the rest of your short life in a prison cell facing torture, a spiteful show trial and execution.   No easy death, burning at the stake was popular, the thinking being that you would taste the fires of hell and repent.

Let’s be clear about this – in the same Europe that gave us the elegant, compelling English of the King James Bible a few years later – there was no Bible in English.  By law and on pain of a lingering death.

Today, you can read your Bible in English when and where you like.  You can lie in the park with the sun on your back and read.  You can order your favourite coffee, settle into an old leather sofa and read.  You can walk around with a Bible verse printed on your T Shirt.  No one is going to bat an eyelid.

So how did we get from the threat of a prison cell 400 years ago to the peaceful park of today?  To answer that question, I have to take you back, right back to 1535 to a cold, dark prison cell in the castle of Vilvoorde near Brussels.  If we peer through the bars into the filthy cell, we may just make out the shadowy form of William Tyndale.

Tyndale is no ordinary criminal and his will be no ordinary trial.  Tyndale is accused of heresy and rebellion against the English Crown.  A crown that at the time is worn by the famously vengeful Henry VIII.  Henry VIII is the type of king who thinks nothing of putting his closest friends and even his wives to death when it suits him.  Henry does not tolerate argument, let alone rebellion.

So what is Tyndale’s crime? Is he plotting to assassinate the King or overthrow the rule of law?  No, Tyndale is a writer and translator whose one deeply held desire is this – to translate the Bible into English.  To translate the Bible so that the stories that hold the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven can be told – The Garden of Eden, Noah’s Ark, Moses and the Red Sea, David and Goliath.  Tyndale’s quill pen is already scratching out the treasury of all the Kings, the Psalms and the Prophets.

And then there’s Jesus.  Tyndale wants us ordinary people to be able to know Jesus.  The same Jesus who told everyday stories about fishermen, farmers and women looking for pearls so that people like us could understand the Kingdom of Heaven in our everyday language.

As Tyndale scratches out his words, he is challenged again and again by powerful and proud men –lawmakers and religious rulers who have a vested interest in keeping the Bible in a language only they understand.  Tyndale has no time for powerful men who use the Bible for their own ends, he goes so far as to declare;

“They have ordained that no man shall look on the Scripture, until he be duped in heathen learning eight or nine years and armed with false principles, with which he is an clean shut out of the understanding of the Scripture.”

Tyndale continues to write despite the threats to his life, telling those who plot against him;

“If God spares my life, ere many years, I will cause the boy that driveth the plow to know more of the Scriptures than thou dost!”

Eventually, Tyndale is betrayed and handed over to his opponents, and they will not rest until both he and his ideals are dead.  In 1536, Tyndale is tried on a charge of heresy and condemned to death.  He is strangled to death at the stake while his body is burned.

Tyndale’s final words, spoken “at the stake with a fervent zeal, and a loud voice”, were reported as “Lord! Open the King of England’s eyes.”

So there we have it, a show trial and a man who died with courage on his lips.  So what of the two Kings and the miracle?

We visit our first King, Henry VIII, four short years after Tyndale’s execution.  The same King who allowed his ministers to harangue Tyndale, dismiss his work and plot his brutal downfall. Yet within four years this King has decreed the publishing of four English translations of the Bible, including Henry’s official Great Bible. All are based on Tyndale’s work.

That this King goes from persecuting to producing an English Bible in this brief time is miracle enough.  But many are of the opinion that this King’s translation fails to do justice to either to the original language or to the people it is supposed to serve.  It is overbearing and underwhelming.

It is a victory of sorts, but an empty victory.  Or should we say emptiness waiting to be filled?   Fast forward 50 years to the court of our second King, James I.  This King is desperate to unite the warring political, territorial and religious forces that had torn so many lives apart for so long. Forces that have extracted the personal cost of the life of his mother Mary, beheaded by his predecessor Queen Elizabeth I.

King James knows that the Bible still holds the key to the heart of England, it is preached in every village, every town and city.  Under James, a talented writer, literature and drama are flourishing, with William Shakespeare amongst others at the peak of their inspirational powers.  James wants a Bible written in this kind of language, language that soars rather than creeps.

The result is a Bible that enraptures people all over the world.  400 years on, the famously unbelieving Chistopher Hitchens will write in Vanity Fair, ‘our language and culture are incomplete’ without it.  So dear are the words of this Bible to Hitchens that he will read from the King James Bible at his father’s funereal;

‘Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.’ Philippians 4 v8, KJV

Why would we, 400 years on and light years ahead, celebrate the creation of the King James Bible? Because the language of the King James vindicates the death of William Tyndale and every other man or woman who has died so that ;

‘Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free’  John 8 v32, KJV.

The King James Bible was the first to throw open the doors to our understanding of the Kingdom of Heaven.  Without it we would have no ‘broken heart’, no ‘labour of love’, no ‘faith that moves mountains’, no ‘let there be light’.

Because of the King James Bible there is light.  And it is good.

When you need a world class writer – for your book, your company or your charity –

Why not contact Claire today?

‘I saw two shooting stars last night, I wished on them but they were only satellites, It’s wrong to wish on space hardware, I wish, I wish, I wish you’d care.’  from New England by Billy Bragg

Life changing.  Events in our lives that change us for the good.  Or for the bad.  The moments that shape us, that make us or break us.  The start of a conversation or the time when the talking stops.  The job we always wanted or cannot wait to leave.  The dream come true, the wish upon a star, the if only and the might have been.  How has your life changed and how would you change your life?

Most people’s lives consist of things they have control over, and things they wish they had more control over. Here’s what I mean:

What, would you say has been the best thing that ever happened to you?

What has been the worst?

What is the one thing you would never change?

What is the thing you want to change more than anything?

What is your greatest hope?

What is your worst fear?

We can end up living our lives on parallel tracks. So regret walks hand in hand with contentment, love with  mistrust, encouragement with despair, sickness with health.  Do you know that there is no direct opposite of the word bereft?  Bereft is the word we use to describe someone who has lost something they can never regain, like a child or the hope of a child, like a lover or the hope of a lover, like a parent or the hope of a parent.  Like a friend…

Life changing. The moments that shape us, that make us or break us. The things we can change and the things we cannot.  I’m walking both tracks at the moment, I have been for many years.  But you know what?  I am trying to remember that there are some things I can change.  I can start with a pen and paper, I can write stuff down, I can make plans, I can find new ways of looking at things, I can learn, I can persevere, I can pray.

There may be times when you feel like a lamb caught in the mouth of a lion.  But that’s the time to stop struggling, because the struggling makes it worse.  The agitation, anxiety, terror and frenzy do not drive our foes away.  If anything, they make it worse.  I am not saying that we should give up, walk away or accept defeat.  What I am saying is that if it’s not working, take a deep breath, take a step back and look at the picture again.

I keep thinking back to the Serenity Prayer, a prayer written in the 1940s (surely a prayer for the time considering the world was on the verge of war, the like of which had never been seen):

‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can change, And wisdom to know the difference.’  Rienhold Niebuhr

Serenity:  peace of mind, patience and stillness.  Courage:  fearlessness, determination and endurance.  Wisdom:  clear thinking, discernment and reason.  Not flailing our fists blindly at the sky but like the calm after the storm.

‘This magnificent butterfly finds a little heap of dirt and sits still on it; but man will never on his heap of mud keep still.’  Joseph Conrad

I am not saying that we should give up, walk away or accept defeat.  What I am saying is that if it’s not working, let’s take a deep breath, take a step back and look at the picture again.  We might find that the answer has been waiting for us all along.

When you need a world class writer – for your book, your company or your charity –

Why not contact Claire today?

‘A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.’ ~ Erin Majors

Jennifer Cline wanted to encourage President Barak Obama.  Jennifer, a 28-year-old mother of two and nine year old boys, has been unemployed since losing her job as a pharmacy technician in 2007.

Despite her troubles, Jennifer wrote the President a cheerful three page letter describing how her family was faring despite job losses and her medical battles with skin cancer.  You would think that she had a scant amount of time or energy to write to the embattled President, but she wrote anyway.

Jennifer nearly fell over when she opened her mailbox one morning to find an elegant looking letter addressed to her from the White House.  President Obama’s signed, handwritten response to her letter read: “Thanks for the very kind and inspiring letter. I know times are tough, but knowing there are folks out there like you and your husband give me confidence that things will keep getting better.”

Encouragement for encouragement. Strength for strength.  Hope for hope.  The President’s letter became the gift that kept on giving.  Having been pursued by an ardent autograph collector, Jennifer decided to sell the memento to help tackle her family’s growing pile of bills.

“I needed to do what’s best for my family, and this was best for my family” she said.

Jennifer and her husband used about $3,000 of the money they recieved from the President’s letter to pay down bills, many of which are related to two forms of skin cancer that Jennifer has battled into remission. The remaining money has been set aside as part of a down payment on a future home.

What I love about this story is how it demonstrates the law of the candle.  Jennifer used her little light to send light to President Obama, President Obama sent light back to her.  And everything got brighter.  That’s what encouragement does, it blesses much more than it costs.

It may only be a few words, an email, a hug or a cup of coffee with someone who could do with some kindness.  Come to think of it, why not be wasteful and give your light away even to people who don’t seem to need or want it.

The more light in this world, the less darkness.  The more likely we are to see each other clearly.

‘The hero is the one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by.  The saint is the man who walks through the dark paths of the world, himself a light.’  ~ Felix Adler, Jewish Intellectual and Social Reformer, 1851-1933

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‘The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help. ‘
Ronald Reagan, US President

What’s the most powerful thing anyone ever said to you? Was it the start of something in your life, or was it like being hit by a truck? How have those words walked with you ever since?

We are surrounded by so much language these days.  Whether it be our mobile phone, text messages, Facebook, email, TV, iPod, land line or plain old coffee with a friend.  Words, for better or worse are everywhere.  So how much power do they have over us?  The thing is, you remember the really good ones, and the really awful ones.  They can be as inspirational as an Olympic Gold Medal and as devastating as a hurricane.

So what do we do with them and, more importantly with their legacy?  To make things easier, I think there are 3 categories.  Here they are with some examples, although I’m sure you can think of your own!

1. Unkind, completely unhelpful (sometimes to the point of cruelty) words said by those who profess to love us.

‘You’ll never amount to anything…nothing ever goes right for you does it?…why did you make such a mess of…you never were the brightest/prettiest/most popular kid were you?…why can’t you be more like [insert name]…what an idiot…no surprises there then…you’ll always be [insert negative word here]…’

2. Things that people say that have a grain of truth, sometimes delivered without much thought

‘I think you would do better if…what if you tried…that’s just not going to work out…you could have been more…how could you…’

3. Encouraging things that people say about us that we do not believe, or dismiss with an ‘no I’m not’.

‘You are really good at…you have so much talent for…you look really good…you really helped with…you have such a great…no one could have done that better…you made a real difference…’

Here’s a suggestion.  The words we carry around in our head from Category 1 will never makes us a better, more peaceful, happier person.  Let us choose to walk away from the power they have over us and refuse to be defined by them.  We probably know which, perhaps thoughtlessly delivered but nevertheless honest, words from Category 2 we could actually do something about.  And as for Category 3…

Why go around beating ourselves up all the time?  Why are we so hard on ourselves?  Each of us is gifted, each of us brings infinite meaning to the lives of others, each of us has beauty and worth.  Each of us is uniquely and infinitely loved by the One who created us to be, us!

So go ahead, be kind to yourself.  Yes, it’s good to have goals and to want to do or be better, but not at the expense of having peace with yourself.  There’s no point in setting the bar so high we will never reach it. The next time someone says something good to you.  Why not enjoy the compliment?  You may find it warms your day.

When you need a world class writer – for your book, your company or your charity -

Why not contact Claire today?

]]> http://clairevorster.com/blog/the-power-of-words-and-what-to-do-about-them/feed/ 0 http://clairevorster.com/blog/why-listening-matters-most/ http://clairevorster.com/blog/why-listening-matters-most/#comments Tue, 07 Sep 2010 19:35:55 +0000 admin http://clairevorster.com/?p=163

Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don’t have to do anything else. We don’t have to advise, or coach, or sound wise. We just have to be willing to sit there and listen.’  Margaret J. Wheatley, Author of The Simpler Way (1996) and Perseverance (2010)

Yesterday, I watched an interview called ‘Between Two Ferns’ with the famously stern actor and political activist Sean Penn.  One of the first questions the interviewer, Seth Galifianakis (!) asked Penn was did his parents ever think of calling him Ball Point?  Penn, snarled, growled and glared.

The interview continued as the interviewer completely ignored any of Penn’s attempts to answer his questions until it came to discussing Penn’s humanitarian work.  Here’s the dialogue:

Galifianakis: So you have been down to Haiti?

Penn: Yes I really…

Galifianakis: Right, do they have a Six Flags Amusement Park down there?

Penn: Stunned silence, then ‘No, no they don’t….’

OK so this was not a serious interview.  Between Two Ferns (which can be found at www.funnyordie.com) specialises in not listening to actors like Ben Stiller, Charlize Theron and Steve Carrell.  The actors never win, they never get a chance to talk about their new movie or their humanitarian work or how great their lives are.  I think that’s why they go on the show.

But it got me thinking.  I had a difficult conversation this week about a difficult situation.  The situation has escalated largely because of lack of understanding or really seeing what is happening and doing something about it.  There’s been not much listening and a lot of assuming.

Listening, really listening to what’s going on in someone’s life requires us to put aside our pre-conceived ideas or pre-judged conclusions.  After all, if I know all the answers, why have the conversation? Am I really interested?  Do I really want to be involved?

I guess everything we do, including the reasons an actor does charity work, comes back to our motivation.  Do we see what we want to see?  Do we hear what we want to hear? Can we love past our prejudices? Can we love past our fears, mistrust or doubts?

Tough questions.  I think it takes patience, discipline and humility to listen to people.  Yes, there are those for whom there is never a full stop at the end of a sentence and no end to what needs to be said, then listening can become  defeating and depleting.  But there people, including ourselves, who sometimes need the person who asks ‘how are you?’ to wait for an answer.

Listening. What a gift to give those you love.  I know it would make Sean Penn happy.

When you need a world class writer – for your book, your company or your charity -

Why not contact Claire today?

‘Oh, would that my mind could let fall its dead ideas, as the tree does its withered leaves!’ Andre Gide

I’ve been watching this amazing documentary Everest: Beyond the Limit following an odd collection of people trying to climb Everest.  There’s a fire-fighter who lost friends during 9/11, a biker who’s spine is encased in metal from previous biking accidents, an asthmatic who wants to reach the summit without using bottled oxygen, a doctor who specialises in altitude sickness.  All going up the mountain.  All fixed on the top.

They are all headed the same way.  They share one dream.  They have spent all their savings, mortgaged their houses, given up work, left behind everyone they love to do this one thing. It has become their lives.  They have to spend 40 days on the mountain just to get their oxygen deprived lungs used to working harder.  Every part of their being becomes entwined with the mountain.  With all this effort, sacrifice, money, ambition and personal pride at stake they have to make it.

Like any good story, you get involved with the people.  You want them to succeed.  As they get nearer the summit you watch with bated breath as their oxygen starved brains and frozen limbs begin to flounder.  You see a man’s face turn purple and blue as mountain sickness takes hold.  Another climber cannot move as he becomes utterly disorientated and the sheer and icy mountainside spins and flips in his head like a child on a see saw. When a climber gets to this stage, he faces three critical life changing choices.  Do I climb on?  Do I stay here? Or do I use all the will power left to me and make my perilous way down?

There is no guarantee that a climber in this state will make it down.  At this stage, experience shows that climbers who refuse to give up their personal ambition and pride to stubbornly climb on, die.  They will make a mistake, slip and fall or just sit down and never get up again.  The mountain is home to many people who got stuck there forever.

Someone once said that the difference between a rut and a grave is only in their dimensions.  In other words, sometimes painful as it is, you have to move on.  Change seems to be very difficult for lots of people.  Some would rather live in dead places, doing dead things that deep down they know aren’t doing them any good.  They will refuse to leave and gradually become so set in their ways that the door to the light closes and they do not even realise it has dimmed.  Or they see that the light is fading but they are too afraid, too proud or too arrogant to do anything about it.

It is better to live lightly, to live humbly and to trust in new beginnings than to get stuck in an old castle full of reasons why you didn’t leave. It is better to pass through fear and realise that it is just a shadow.

Don’t get stuck. It can be a matter of life and death.

When you need a world class writer – for your book, your company or your charity -

Why not contact Claire today?

Person by person, brick by brick a Cathedral emerges in an epic drama coming to Channel 4 this Autumn

On the night of 14 November 1940, the city of Coventry burned as Luftwaffe bombs and incendiary devices rained down. The next morning, Coventry Cathedral lay in smoking ruins.  The decision to re-build the Cathedral was taken immediately by the Provost Dick Howard, as a sign of hope for the city and for the future of a ravaged world.

While sifting through the rubble, Jock Forbes, the Cathedral’s stonemason, found that two of the charred medieval roof timbers had fallen in the shape of a cross.  He set them up in the ruins, much as a distinctive metal cross was set up at Ground Zero after the collapse of the Twin Towers on September 11^th 2001.  This charred cross was later placed on an altar of the rubble of Coventry Cathedral with the moving words ‘Father Forgive’ inscribed on the Sanctuary wall.

Cathedrals are places where stories collide.  Places where thousands of people who would not normally meet can come together. They may be tourists or worshippers, professionals or rogues, lovers or haters but they all come.

Within the walls of any Cathedral you will find these stories, often ancient, often painful inscribed on the walls and floors.  Memories of knights, soldiers, wives and children. Tombs of priests, saints and kings.  Lives well lived and lives lost.  At St Paul’s Cathedral in London alone, you will find memorials to a dazzling array of famous British figures including Sir Winston Churchill, Lord Horatio Nelson, The Duke of Wellington and Florence Nightingale. In recent years, an estimated 2.5 billion people watched the wedding of Prince Charles to the Lady Diana Spencer played out at St Paul’s Cathedral.

Cathedrals hold our history in all its beauty and terror, preserved sometimes in the moment as wars raged. The most famous medieval Cathedrals were built between about 1000 and 1600 AD in England, France, Italy, Spain and Germany. So why were they built and what of the people who built them? Best selling author Ken Follett, who wrote the enduringly popular novel ‘The Pillars of the Earth’ about the building of a cathedral, sums up the paradox of these great buildings;

‘The building of the medieval cathedrals is an astonishing European phenomenon. The builders had no power tools, they did not understand the mathematics of structural engineering, and they were poor: the richest of princes did not live as well as, say, a prisoner in a modern jail. Yet they put up the most beautiful buildings that have ever existed, and they built them so well that they are still here, hundreds of years later, for us to study and marvel at.’

From as early as AD 604, Cathedrals were a key part of the everyday practice of Christian life in Europe.  Life was celebrated and mourned here, from baptism to communion, to marriage to death. People came to talk to their Priests and whilst Bishops, Lords and Kings came to speak to their people.

The cost of building a Cathedral was vast, both in terms of money and human endeavour.  This is why they are principally found in towns and cities where money congregated, such as Canterbury and York, Lincoln, Worcester and Chichester.

Building might take hundreds of years and would employ the skills of a number of master craftsmen, women and labourers.  To build a Cathedral you would need a good architect plus quarry men, stone carvers, carpenters, a master mason, a master stone cutter, a stone dresser, a black smith, plumbers, a roofer, mortar makers, a glazier or glass maker, a stained glass craftsman, sculptors and other labourers. Families would hand their work on the project to their sons and daughters until the job was done. Through rain and snow, despite war, famine and plague, from sunrise to sunset they worked with one mission – to build on.

Everyday people were remembered in the building, names carved into walls and onto plaques or tablets of stone. Gargoyles were sometimes made in the image of a bishop or a worker.  Stained glass windows, statues, and painting told Bible stories for those who couldn’t read.

Person by person, inch by inch, brick by brick a Cathedral emerges. So many stories under one roof, no wonder that one day these stories would be told.  Ken Follett, the novelist who took up the challenge was already well established as a writer of thrillers like the best selling Eye of the Needle published in 1978. He describes what gave him the idea to write his Cathedral epic;

‘The stones themselves reveal the construction history: stops and starts, damage and reconstruction, extensions in times of prosperity, and stained-glass tributes to the wealthy men who generally paid the bills. Another story is told by the way the church is sited in the town. Lincoln faces across the street to the castle, religious and military power nose to nose. Winchester has a neat grid of streets, laid out by a medieval bishop who fancied himself a town planner. Salisbury moved, in the thirteenth century, from a defensive hilltop site – where the ruins of the old cathedral are still visible – to an open meadow, showing that permanent peace had arrived.’

Naturally his publishers were nervous and in a way, Follett’s journey to bring his novel about required as much dedication as the cathedral builders needed.  His epic novel ‘The Pillars of the Earth’ was written over a span of 13 years. Follett remembers his first attempt, when he realised exactly what he had taken on;

‘Looking back, I can see that at the age of twenty-seven I was not capable of writing such a novel. I was like an apprentice watercolour painter planning a vast canvas in oils. To do justice to its subject, the book would have to be very long, cover a period of several decades and bring alive the great sweep of medieval Europe. I was writing much less ambitious books, and even so I had not yet mastered the craft.’

The Pillars of the Earth was eventually published in 1989 and has been a hit ever since.  The novel has made numerous appearances on best seller lists around the world including 80 in Germany.

The Pillars of the Earth is a majestic novel.  Follett throws the reader instantly into the cold, damp, difficult lives of a central character, Tom Builder, as he tries to keep starvation from the door of his family.  Although penniless, Tom harbours a life long dream to put his talent for building to work on the most ambitious project available to a man of his time; the building of a Cathedral in Kingsbridge, Follett’s fictional town set in a beautiful corner of South West England.

So has this book captured the imagination of people around the world that filming of an ambitious $40 million eight hour television adaptation ‘The Pillars of the Earth’ is now complete. This compelling series was produced by a vast array of veteran executive producing talent including, three-time Oscar® nominee Ridley Scott (Robin Hood, Gladiator, American Gangster), Tony Scott (The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3, Top Gun, Spy Game) and David  W. Zucker (The Good Wife) along with long term German production partner Tandem Productions.  Well loved British actor Ian McShane, no strange to sinister roles, plays the villain of the piece.  The story has a wealth of intriguing, heroic and duplicitous characters for the cast of well loved actors including Donald Sutherland, Matthew Macfadyen and Sarah Parish to get their teeth into.

The mini series will premier in the United States in July and is slated to appear in the UK on Channel 4 this Autumn. Tim Highsted, Programme Acquisition Director of Channel 4 says, “We are delighted to premiere The Pillars of the Earth on Channel 4. Epic in scale and ambitious in its storytelling, this miniseries is sure to spellbind viewers and is the perfect addition to our acquired programmes.”

So for those of you who like to step outside of our hurried world for a while, why not visit one of Europe’s many historic local Churches, Abbeys or Cathedrals?  Take some well-earned time out to explore the stories they keep and to remember the grit, determination and courage of those who built them.

And when the days draw in and you are ready for a good story on TV to whisk you away to another time, another place – The Pillars of the Earth maybe just the thing to while away hours.

Links you might like!

www.achurchnearyou.com

www.ken-follett.com

Amazing Cathedral Facts

Canterbury Cathedral, Canterbury, England took around 365 years to build. St. Thomas Becket was murdered in the north-east transept on Tuesday 29 December 1170 by knights of King Henry II.

Cologne Cathedral, Cologne, Germany took 600 years to build. The cathedral suffered seventy hits by aerial bombs during World War II but did not collapse.

Notre Dame, Paris, France was built in 182 years. On 24 April 1558 Mary, Queen of Scots was married to the Dauphin François (later François II of France) in an elaborate ceremony at the Cathedral.

St Peter’s Basilica, Rome, Italy was built between 1506 and 1626. The Basilica has the largest interior of any Christian church in the world, holding 60,000 people.

Work on the Washington National Cathedral, Washington, USA was started in 1907, finished in 1990. Popular TV series ‘The West Wing’ starring Martin Sheen filmed the second season finale ‘Two Cathedrals’ here.

When you need a world class writer – for your book, your company or your charity -

Why not contact Claire today?